I came across an article* on Esquire.com the other day that I read twice. Once to myself and once to DarlingHusband. It’s one of those articles that has a good bit of shock value, enough to well, shock you, and leaves you thinking, pondering, and even questioning your own morals.
It’s called I Think You’re Fat.
The author, A.J. Jacobs, takes a journey which requires him to lie…less often. Theoretically, he’s not supposed to lie at all. Can you imagine?
A world where no one lies.
What would it be like? Would we have more wars or less? Would people finally communicate with each other? Would feelings be hurt? Could our relationships, friendships, and associations handle all that truth?
As I read the article I found myself firmly in the anti-Brad Blanton camp. Not because I don’t believe in honesty, but because I didn’t like the way he came off in the article. Brad Blanton you see is the psychotherapist behind this movement called Radical Honesty and author A.J. Jacobs sets about meeting with Blanton to discuss things. I’ll let you read the article.
Upon finishing, and then rereading, I still felt like Blanton uses his “honesty” movement as an excuse to be an ass(sorry Mom, no other word would do) but on the other hand, Jacobs’ relationships (some of them in some ways) were improved. There is something to be said for being completely honest with those around you, even if you get that weird feeling in your stomach and wonder “what the hell am I doing?”
But at the same time, using honesty as an excuse for being rude is never okay, in my opinion. Neither is it an excuse to be a selfish asshole (sorry again).
One of the things I admire most about DarlingHusband is his honesty. An example, if a client sends him an email asking about a project and he doesn’t have it done yet, he’ll write them back and tell them it isn’t done. He doesn’t “hem-haw” around the matter. He doesn’t ignore the email. He doesn’t make up an excuse. He simply tells it like it is, sticks to the facts. That is SO refreshing, don’t you think?
But I digress. The point is, you know deep down when its okay to tell a white lie that will spare a person’s feelings. And you should know that the majority of the time, honesty is the best policy. (That’s not a famous quote for no reason, people.) Perhaps we all need to toughen our skins and (as Blanton hints at) learn to communicate better.
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* Amazing what stays on the internet. This article is from 2007!
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